How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Randomize
