I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
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