it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
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