Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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