Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
