how hairy? two words: wookie tits
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Randomize
