he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
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