i was rollin on her like bob the builder
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Randomize
