If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize