You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Randomize
