Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
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