Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Randomize
