Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
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