I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
