This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Randomize
