Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
That accounts for only three of the penises
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
