I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
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