ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
