Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize
