I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize