Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
