She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
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