Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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