people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
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