just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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