as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Just high enough for therapy.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Randomize
