Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
