He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Randomize
