So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
