**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
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