But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
How does one acquire holy water?
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Randomize