You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Randomize
