He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
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