I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
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