Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Randomize
