can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
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