That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
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