Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
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