It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
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