Whats the glycemic index on semen?
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
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