you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Randomize
