help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
