This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Randomize
