Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Randomize
