Whoa Z and x make the same sound
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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