i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
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