Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Randomize
