I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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