id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
