We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
areolas are like halos for boobs.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
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