Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Randomize
