NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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