i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Randomize
