I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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