if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Randomize
