He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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