Please, let me fuck your mom
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
