I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Randomize
