i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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