So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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