He is such a slut. More and more my type.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
Randomize
